Title: I Don't Want the World to See Me

Author: Saavant

Contact: saavaant @ yahoo . com

Series: TOS

Rating: [Mild Content]

Codes: K/S, filk

Part: 1/1

Summary: Spock's thoughts during Amok Time.

Author's Note: I didn't think I'd ever do K/S, but a song called "Iris" that plays on the radio practically every day at my workplace was so absolutely expressive of Spock's feelings for his captain in 2267 that I couldn't resist adding a few lines to each verse to clarify the meaning. (The song is sung by the "Goo Goo Dolls"--admittedly not a very Vulcanish name for a band--but I did hear it on a station called "104.1, The Point"! )

Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom (oh, am I ever getting sick of mergers, especially after Yahoo/Egroups and Google/Deja) owns Kirk and Spock and the term "plak tau"/"plaktow" (the last of which is the only copyrighted Trek phrase I actually use in the song). I do not own them and am not profiting financially from writing about them. Neither do I own the tune and half of the words, but the other half are ALL MINE!!!

Archive: Sure.

I DON'T WANT THE WORLD TO SEE ME

i am driven to join her forever

as i'm drawn to her side by plak tau

but i'd give up forever to touch you

'cause i know that you feel me somehow

for your link to my soul is far stronger

than hers through that childhood vow

you're the closest to heaven i'll ever be

and i don't want to go home right now

please lock me away from my duty

prevent me from taking her hand

i don't want the world to see me

i don't think that they'd understand

when logic is shattered to pieces

when passion has burst through the dam

when everything's made to be broken

i just want you to know who i am

i'm someone whose heart doesn't answer

the call of the blood of his wife

and all i can taste is this moment

and all i can breathe is your life

but the fever is forcing me homeward

it won't let me crawl off and die

and sooner or later it's over

i just don't want to miss you tonight

and i ache from the thought that i have to

as i'm pulled to the ancestral sands

and i don't want the world to see me

i don't think that they'd understand

oh why can't i tell you i want you

and leave her to some other man

when everything's made to be broken

i just want you to know who i am

when you hide that you can't hide emotion

but you're giving away the disguise

you can't fight the tears that aren't coming

or the moment of truth in your lies

as I wound you, you give futile payment

for the knowledge that you can survive

when everything feels like the movies

and you bleed just to know you're alive

no human could fathom this madness

that has left you destroyed by my hand

i don't want the world to see me

i don't think that they'd understand

but i've found you alive and must tell you

before i can lose you again

when everything's made to be broken

i just want you to know who i am

END

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