Title: Plant Gender
Contact: saavaant @ yahoo . com
Codes: Sulu/Rand, Rand/?, Sulu/?
Summary: Tribbles aren't the only alien creatures whose sex is uncertain.
Archive: Yes please.
Disclaimer: I disclaim Star Trek characters. I disclaim having invented them. I disclaim to be profiting monetarily from writing about them. I am not Roddenberry. I am not Paramount. I am Saavant. So There.
Note: Thanks Farfalla for the encouragement!
"Hello, Beauregard," said Janice Rand, bending over the plant.
"I keep telling you, darling, she's called Gertrude," said Sulu, grinning and putting a hand on Janice's shoulder.
"And I keep telling you it's a male plant. And don't tell me it's an inanimate object-- you as a botanist have to know that plants have genders."
"That's true for most Terran plants. You can look at a plant from Earth and tell if it has male or female organs-- stamens or pistils. But of course there are complications; there are plants that have stamens in some flowers and pistils in others, and there are plants that have both male and female organs in each flower, and there are plants that don't have flowers at all and just grow spores. Gertrude's species isn't from Earth, and we haven't yet figured out how it works. In the meantime, I'm calling it Gertrude."
"But it has to be male. Look how attracted it is to me." Rand smiled seductively at the plant, which was purring and stretching its finger-like appendages out toward her.
"There's no way it can tell you're female," laughed Sulu.
"What? Did you just say I don't look female?"
"I mean there's no way a plant can tell a human's gender. It's just a reflex, the way it reaches toward you. It's not sexual."
"Oh, you're just jealous. You don't want to believe that anyone else would be interested in your precious Janice. Well, I'll show you." And suddenly, giggling, she pulled off her hose and underpants, jumped onto the botany table and positioned herself over the plant.
"Jan! What the hell are you doing?" said Sulu through a fit of laughter.
"Just watch," riposted Janice, teasing the fingers of the plant towards her genitals. "Ohhh," she added, as the plant caught her hint and touched exactly the right place.
Sulu couldn't help it; he was getting turned on watching Janice rocking back and forth with one part of the plant stroking her clitoris and another part wriggling its way inside her. By the time she climaxed, he had opened his pants and had his dick in his hand.
Janice swung down from the table, grinning at his hard-on. "I guess I proved it *is* sexual, huh?" she said smugly.
"Not so fast. Gertrude can't help it-- she's just responding to your proximity. I bet she'd do the same thing to me."
"Well, why don't you try?"
And seconds later, Sulu had his groin up against the plant and its fingers were pumping him towards a satisfying orgasm. He shot his load all over the table and slumped to the floor, a silly smile plastered all over his face.
"Well." Janice folded her arms. "Have we come to a conclusion about the plant's gender?"
Sulu shrugged. "I guess not-- but whether it's male or female, it's certainly bisexual."
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