Title: Birds on the Tree
Rating: [All Audiences]
Summary: Challenge reply. Spock gets a gift he doesn't know what to do with; Kirk shows him.
Disclaimer: I disclaim Star Trek characters. I disclaim having invented them. I disclaim to be profiting monetarily from writing about them. I am not Roddenberry. I am not Paramount. I am Saavant. So There.
Feedback address: saavaant @ yahoo . com
Advertisement: Part of the SAC-2004 at: http://www.kardasi.com/Advent/2004/SAC-2004.htm
Note: Inspired by Farfalla's story "Grandma's Goodie Box," and also by something else (see end of story).
Twas the night before Christmas, and Spock and his Kirk
Had just settled down from a long day of work
When, 'twixt ten in the evening and ten and a quarter,
There came a delivery through the transporter.
'Twas packaged and wrapped with much festive finesse
And with a Minneapolis return address,
And it would not take the most clever of Spocks
To identify Grandmother's latest treat box.
For Jim there were muffins and cookies and cake,
And scarves of the type that Jim's Gran loved to make,
But poor Spock received a most unwanted gift,
And it left him appearing uncommonly miffed.
He said, "Jim, I know that this grandma at home
Does not realize that I have a Y chromosome,
But it's doubtful that even a feminine spouse
Would be seen with these earrings outside of her house."
Jim looked at them, and could not help but agree.
There were seventeen pairs of the things he could see,
And Gran must have thought their most breathtaking merit
Was that each one was carved in the shape of a parrot.
They were painted in every conceivable hue,
From fluorescent pink to electrified blue,
Some colors were subtler and others were bolder
And they filled the whole space from the lobe to the shoulder.
Said Spock, "I don't mind that the colors are bright,
With my room's clashing decor they'd fit in just right,
But were I to wear them elsewhere, I'm afraid
An impression of dignity would not be made."
Jim nodded, and they sat in silence some more,
In a quandary as to this painted eyesore,
But then Kirk jumped up from his chair suddenly
And removed from his closet a miniature tree.
"I've had this since I was in college," he said.
"Don't worry, it's fake, it's not dying or dead.
I used to put ornaments on it each year,
But it's something I've wanted to give to you. Here."
He gave Spock the tree and then gave him some orders:
"See here, this would look just divine in your quarters.
The green would clash great with your red and orange sheet
And those earrings, as ornaments, couldn't be beat!"
Delighted, Spock set up the tree in his room
And it glowed every hue in the dimly lit gloom,
For they say it's good luck to have birds on your tree,
And no man on the ship was more lucky than he!
Okay, here's the earring collection and tree that inspired this poem (yes, they're mine!!). Some liberties have been taken in the story. In reality, the tree is white, not green; not *all* the birds on it are parrots; and the birds have a bit of company, as you can see:
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