Title: Ins Knie
Contact: saavaant @ yahoo . com
Rating: A mild [Explicit] for talking about sex.
Series: TOS. Set after "The Undiscovered Country."
Summary: Not everybody keeps their genitals in the same place.
Archive: Anyplace, but please keep me posted on where it is
Disclaimer: I disclaim Star Trek characters. I disclaim having invented them. I disclaim to be profiting monetarily from writing about them. I am not Roddenberry. I am not Paramount/Viacom. I am Saavant. So There.
Author's note: The title comes from "Fick dich ins Knie," a German curse meaning "fuck you in the knee."
"You were in a fight with a Korlian?" said Spock incredulously. "Jim, when we began this discussion, I expected to hear all manner of distasteful things that might have happened to you on Rura Penthe, but certainly not this. I have never heard of a human fighting a Korlian and living to tell of it."
"Well, I fought one and won," said Kirk with satisfaction. "He fell down moaning in pain, if I recall correctly."
"And how, may I ask, did you manage this?"
"I fought dirty. I went for his private parts."
Spock's brows lowered in perplexed concern. "Jim, I have had few occasions to doubt your veracity, and I see no reason that you might be inventing this story, but still I have difficulty believing it. A Korlian's entire body, including his reproductive organs, is thoroughly protected by a tough outer skin, and would resist any blow a human could deal."
"Well, it didn't this time. Are you sure you're not misunderstanding me? I didn't hit him between the legs. I attacked his actual genitals... you know, in his knees."
"That should make no difference. As I said, the genitals are as heavily shielded as the area between the legs, or any other part of the body. I understand that the female of the species must take a running start and allow her own organs to collide with his quite forcefully, in order for him to feel anything at all."
"Really? That would be kind of tough, running up to someone to hit your knees against his. They must have good coordination."
"Perhaps they do, but I believe now you are misuderstanding me. The female's genitals are not on her knees. They are protrusions on her feet, which sink into depressions in the male's genital region and suck the semen out of his body after he has been aroused by several kicks to the knee."
A strange look came over Kirk's face. "That's exactly how I attacked him," he murmured.
"You struck his knee with your foot?"
"Yeah." Kirk shuddered. "You don't think..."
"Oh, Jim," Spock sighed, a half-smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Yet another conquest. Can you not learn to control yourself?"
"Spock, stop it!" groaned Kirk, blushing like crazy. "You're *teasing* me, for crying out loud. Those rumors are exaggerated and you know it. But... are you saying that I..."
"You most definitely had a sexual encounter with the Korlian. He was prepared to withstand any blow, but when you touched him in that way, he probably became quite excited."
"Even though he didn't know me, and we had been fighting?"
"Indeed. Korlians tend to be quite indiscriminate regarding when and with whom to mate. They are attracted to all humanoid species and will take any chance they can get. Sex between males is frequent, with one kicking the other to arouse him. And due to the colliding force necessary to provide stimulation, violence is an integral part of their romantic culture."
Kirk's eyes went wide, and Spock continued. "It is not uncommon for a fight between two Korlians to transform suddenly into a sexual coupling. This is most likely what your opponent thought was happening. And he 'did not last long,' as the human idiom goes."
"So the moaning and falling down..."
"Was doubtless because he was having an orgasm."
Kirk's hand went to his face, and he leaned back in his chair, not knowing whether to find the encounter disgusting or hilarious. "And I didn't even know it," he marveled, "but that was probably the only way I could have won the fight. The legendary Kirk luck rescues me once again."
"And the legendary Kirk use of sex to accomplish military goals," put in Spock.
Kirk blushed again. "And you say Vulcans don't tease."
Spock just raised an eyebrow.
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